How
by toothsomeghouL
Summary: Rima got a good idea on how she could express her true feelings for her best friend.


huh! finally, i got this one uploaded! kinda busy in school... ah, before i forget, i woild like to inform you: .CHEEZY.. so get ready with your tissues & popcorn hehe

**ENJOY!**

**ShikixRima**

disclaimer: hino, yeah, she owns Shiki & riMa aND the whole vampire knight

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**How**

"...I can't leave Japan. How would I… if the one I love is here?"

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"What did she tell you?" Rima asked Shiki, holding her cup of tea tight and feeling the warmth coming from it as she watched the scenes across the city streets through the glass wall of their office.

Shiki crept up to the couch then leaned his back against the soft cushion. He let out a deep breath, closed his eyes and then put his hand on his forehead.

She turned to him. Mixed stress and frustration were evident across his gorgeous face. She quietly moved towards and sat beside him. She just watched his face, trying to show less worries. She then felt his arm gently wrap around her shoulder.

He pulled her close then nestle his head on her shoulder.

Few minutes of silence passed, she felt him pull her even closer.

"A week from now," he whispered to her ear. "I'm leaving a week from now."

She looked straight into him. He was smiling at her. "But… but that's…" she said under her breath.

"I know." He enveloped her inside his warm embrace. "Ayako volunteered to fix some of the papers and other stuff I will need. She said it's the least thing she could do for me before I leave her management. In the mean, time let's have fun and enjoy"

She puckered her lips. He shook her on her shoulders. "C'mon, Rima. Don't give me that kind of look. You should smile more or else you'll have wrinkles," he joked.

She didn't make any reaction and just watched him laugh to himself.

He stood up and dragged her gently. "I heard there's a new patisserie in town. Let's try what they have there," he sweetly smiled.

…

Rima ended up eating Danish pastries with Ruka and Aido in the patisserie Shiki was babbling about earlier before they leave their office in the studio. It was not Shiki's style to leave someone on air, especially Rima, no matter how important the thing that he had to do first. This time didn't count, nonetheless.

Their manager called him a while ago and told him that they had to talk about some important matters. Career, maybe. He didn't want to leave her just like that but he really had to go. He phoned Aido and Ruka so she could at least have someone with her.

The entire bakeshop was a nice place yet she couldn't feel the cozy ambiance of the place. She felt too grief-stricken.

"So he's leaving, huh? ―Aw!" she heard Aido suppress a gasp when Ruka hit his arm. "What?"

Ruka gave Aido an angry look, her brows puckered. She then pulled him on his collar and hissed, "Just shut up, okay?"

"What did I say?" he innocently asked. "A-a-aww! Stop it!"

Ruka was pinching his ear.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't mess up here, you two," her voice full of authority and crossness at the same time.

The two stopped squabbling and piped down on their seats as if they were preschoolers scolded by their teacher.

**…**

Rima bent down on her desk, her arms covering her face. Her eyes were gazing down the floor but her mind was wandering somewhere else. She swung her legs back and forth and played with the shards of faint moonlight under her desk.

Her mood became even gloomier. Before, every time she'd bend down, she'd see two pairs of legs swinging under her desk: her legs and Shiki's.

Their Literature teacher had just dismissed the class. Or was it their Math teacher? She didn't know. She didn't mind. Her mind absorbed nothing and was busy thinking of something… of someone. Her ears were not functioning as well before the teacher went out the classroom.

She could hear some of her classmates chatting; some were giggling and murmuring while waiting for their next teacher to come.

She felt someone sat on her desk then heard Ruka grumble softly, "Stupid Aido! Where is Yagari-sensei?! He's already three-minutes late!"

She shrugged, still facing down under her desk.

Ruka tapped her shoulder. "Hey, Rima, 'want some pocky? I have some here."

"Hey, Ruka, give my pocky back!" she heard Aido yell.

"Shut up, Aido!" Ruka yelled back to Aido. "C'mon, Rima, this is a new flavor. Apple butter. Hmm 'sounds delicious. C'mon, let's eat this now."

"No, thanks," she flatly said.

"But this really looks delicious." Ruka tore the packet of pocky sticks open and tasted one. "Hmm, 'tastes good… really. Here, have some."

She sat up straight then turned to Ruka. "C'mon, Ruka, we both know you don't like sweets. Don't bother eating foodstuffs you actually don't like," she lazily said.

"I'm not forcing myself," Ruka denied as she stretched the pocky out to her. "It's really tasty. Here, have some."

"I'm fine. Just give that back to Aido before he commits suicide."

Ruka was acting so concerned about here lately; since the time she learned that Shiki was leaving for work. And she knew just why…

The day after tomorrow, she would be celebrating her 16th birthday. Yet she wished for that day not to come. Because, on the very same day, Shiki would fly off to London and would continue his career for five years there.

She bit her lower lip to keep herself from crying. She then felt her cell phone vibrate in the pocket of her uniform. She fished it out then peeked at its LCD. She just received a text message. It was from Shiki.

_How's everythng going on der? Hmm I've missed 2 subjcts already. I'l try my best to finish ol d stuff I hav to finish here and attend at least the last 2 subjects. Wish me luck! =)_

She smiled sadly. Shiki didn't attend class regularly these past days. He was always busy working his papers and other stuff he needed for his flight. The time for his departure was nearing and yet he couldn't even manage spending his last minutes with her.

She just gazed longingly on her cell phone. Unmindful of what was going on around her, she didn't notice that Yagari had already come and started the lessons.

Yagari cleared his throat. "I hope everyone is listening to me…"

She was still in a deep thought when she heard Ruka mouthing something to her, "Rima, keep that now."

"Huh?" she asked under her breath.

Ruka gestured her cell phone. That was when she understood what she wanted to tell her.

Yagari's class was about to finish when Shiki came. He walked on through the second door at the back of the classroom.

"Hey," he whispered to her with a smile on his lips.

She checked her wristwatch then breathed, "It's ten-twenty-six, what did you do in the office up until this late? I doubt if you really came from the office."

His smile widened as he touched her hand. "I missed you," he softly said.

She just smiled, trying to hide the sadness in her eyes.

"I would like you to write a poem for your homework. I expect them tomorrow night, on our next meeting," Yagari told the class before he went out the room.

After that, the room suddenly filled with complaints and commotions from their classmates.

"What's wrong with him? Why is he asking for a poem?"

"For Pete's sake! His teaching Social Science and he's wants us to make a poem?"

"Goodness! Did I hear him right?"

"What's with him?"

"Hmm, poem huh…" Shiki softly smirked, his hands behind his head.

He didn't look interested about Yagari's irrational, absurd and crazy caprice. However, she thought Yagari just give her a marvelous idea…

**…**

Yagari's class had started but Shiki had not arrived yet. She was starting to feel downhearted. It was his last night in the Cross Academy; he was supposed to be there. She didn't know what else he was doing in their office at that moment.

She caught a glimpse of the folded lavender stationary inserted between the pages of her book. Written on it was the poem she made last night. Yes, she did make one, indeed! She had all her feelings and thoughts for Shiki in that poem. She wanted him to be there when she would read her poem, but she doubted if he could come in time.

She heaved a sigh full of sadness then looked outside the window, unmindfully.

Six minutes before Yagari's period to end, her eyes were still looking outside the window, watching the bright moon picking from the clouds. Inside her mind, she wondered why Yagari still had not talked about the homework he asked them to make.

_I thought he expect us to make poem? Did he forget about it? Perhaps he's just playing games with us._ she thought to herself.

"What are you looking at outside?" Shiki whispered near her ear. He crept up on his seat. She felt his hot breathe tingle her system.

"Okay, now, let's see how you did," Yagari started. He pointed to one of their classmates. "You, Tsukimoura-sama, come here in front and read your work."

Tsukimoura walked in front, jumpy. He had cleared his throat not a single time. "A-ahm," he breathed deeply before he timidly started reading. "T-tomorrow, a-as the s-sun r-rise… above t-the h-h-horizon… I s-see you s-smile a-and my… my…. my h-heart―"

"Alright, that's enough. Let's hear another one. How about… you, Touya-sama?"

Everyone concurrently twisted to her.

"Me?" she asked with a quizzical look on her face. She was surprised and, at the same time, nervous.

"Yes, you," Yagari casually answered, his arms crossed as he nodded his head.

She grudgingly stood up from her seat. She slowly stepped to the platform in front of the class. She then looked at Yagari doubtfully before she faced the class, particularly to Shiki.

He smiled to her as he motioned two thumbs up.

She took a deep breath. _Okay, here it goes,_ she said inside her mind. Then she gathered all her confidence and read the poem she made for Shiki with all her love for him…

_How can I avoid you when you've already resided in my heart?_

_Although without my permission, I let you in_

_How can I forget you even for a second when your scent lingers on me?_

_When your voice keeps ringing in my head round-the-clock?_

_How can I ignore you when you own the most gorgeous face in the planet?_

_How can I not be able to picture you when I can see your face everywhere?_

_How can I stop thinking about you when I even dream about you and your smile?_

_How can I appreciate the springtime's harmony when your hum is the most majestic melody to my ears?_

_How can I escape this paradise when you've already surrounded me with your tenderness?_

_How can I see things clearly, when you always blur the scene?_

_How can I ward you off when I become insane whenever you're not around?_

_When I found your shoulder the safest place on earth?_

_And your embrace the most peaceful?_

_How can I think straight when you make my chaotic mind thousand times worse?_

_How can I keep my world spinning when you always cease the time?_

_When you enjoy idling the hour away?_

_Yet I feel happy that you're doing so_

_How can I tell you the nicest words when I can't say a thing 'cause my tongue tangles?_

_When I can't even think properly?_

_How can I think of the best topic to chew over when your loving gaze always makes me falter?_

_How can I resist you when you're simply irresistible?_

_How can I get tired of you when I can even run through the whole universe just to be with you?_

_When you can always sooth my tired spirit with just your chuckle?_

_How can I give care for my soul when you melt and fortify it just with a smile?_

_How can I stop my heart from loving you when you've already found your way through its deepest part?_

_Before I figured out what this perfect feeling is_

_How can I not look for you when I feel imperfect when you're not there?_

_You know that I don't own my life completely_

_Only partly_

_Since the biggest part of my life is yours_

_How can I refuse your every request when I'm more than willing to do anything for you?_

_Even the craziest thing you could imagine_

_How can I let you down when I'm always ready for a battle?_

_If it's for you,_

_Trust me I won't surrender_

_How can I surrender when I know you're just an inch behind me?_

_Whispering to my ear that you will be there_

_And will never leave me_

_But…_

_How can I stay tough?_

_How can I continue fighting?_

_How can I stay awake?_

_How can I be able to smile?_

_How can I be able to think?_

_How can I be able to speak?_

_How can I be able to feel?_

_How can I be able to breathe?_

_How can my heart be able to beat?_

_How can I pick up the shattered pieces of me?_

How can I put back the crushed scraps of my life back together?

_Tell me…_

She paused and bit her lower lip to keep herself from crying. She cleared her throat then continued expressing what she had inside her heart…

_How can I get through when you say goodbye?_

Silence.

She felt so much emotions inside tending to burst any time. And she couldn't contain them anymore.

Yagari motioned to her. "Well done, Rima. You may go back to your sea―"

"Excuse me…" She went out the room, running.

Tears were flowing constantly through her cheeks when she got to her room. She absent-mindedly sat beside the couch at the dusky corner; she curved then leaned her face on her arms crossed.

"Why do you have to leave?" she muttered, sobbing.

…

Shiki rushed to Rima's room after class. Her room seemed to have that woeful ambiance. It was gloomy all over. The drapes by the open window were calmly fluttering as the crisp breeze flowed into and filled coldness across the room. Faint moonlight lit only to one part of the room; the corners were very dusky.

He explored his eyes throughout and looked for Rima. No sign of her.

_Where are you? _he desperately asked inside his head.

He turned his eyes throughout the place once again. His gaze stopped on one corner. He could see a figure lying beside the couch, though there was no light on that place.

He scurried towards the darkness. He felt a wave of panic when he saw Rima lying down the floor, unconscious. He quickly attended to her. "What happened?" he gasped.

No response.

He noticed something sparkling across her cheeks. He reached to her. Her face felt damp. _Was she crying? _he wondered. He moved and gingerly carried her to the bed. That was when he noticed the piece of paper crumpled in her hand. He carefully took it and found out that it was the poem she read earlier in the class. He shifted his gaze to her face. Her eyes were swollen. She might have been crying for so long.

That moment, he didn't know what do. He couldn't contain the depression he had been hiding from her anymore. He didn't want to see her like that, to be in a helpless state. Silently shattering with grief and trying her best to fight the feeling.

He reached to wipe her tears away then covered her with the blanket with great care.

He kissed her forehead and whispered, "Sleep tight."

_I'm sorry, _he said in his mind as the door shut behind him.

…

Rima woke up feeling so heavy deep within. She was stretching out when she noticed something― she was on her bed. She didn't remember going to bed last night. She was sitting on the floor when slumber dragged her. _Did Shiki…_She jumped off her bed when she remembered him then moved to the window. The morning light burst out when she shove the curtains aside.

"Damn it," she murmured, "I slept in!"

She rushed changing and fixing herself.

Her cell phone rang when she was running down the hall. Her mom was calling.

"What would you like for dinner, birthday girl?" Birthday? She already forgot it was her birthday to today.

"I'd love whatever you cook. I'll call you later," she quickly said before hanging up.

"Are you going to your mom's home?" the head servant asked as she started out the front door steps.

"No." She jumped in her car and sped away to the airport.

She was stuck with the heavy traffic as she drove the highway. Despair was starting to get into her.

Minutes had passed when the traffic finally ceased. She slammed the door of her car and ran swiftly lobby of the airport.

The place was packed. She didn't know where to turn.

"Rima!" she heard a familiar voice call her name.

She turned to where that voice was coming and saw Aido waving to her. Ruka and the others were also there standing beside him. She dashed towards them.

"Shiki… where is he?" she asked, panting.

No one answered her. Instead, they just walked pass her.

She felt Takuma tapped her shoulder as if comforting her.

"Where a-are you g-going?" her voice tailed off as she blinked back her tears.

Again, they didn't answer her question and just went on walking as if they didn't hear her.

"G-guys? Where a-are―"

"They're heading home," she heard that familiar baritone voice she used to love which made her feel an explainable feeling of happiness in a sudden.

She turned around and couldn't stop her tears from shedding when she saw him standing in the middle of the crowd. She thought it was just a dreaming, that was when he smiled and said, "What took you so long? We have been waiting for you since this morning."

Her tears seemed to flow constantly as she saw him walked towards her. He reached out and dabbed the tears from her eyes. Then, without a word, he enveloped her with his warm embrace. "I thought you wouldn't come," he whispered near her ears then tightened his arms around her.

She felt something wonderful inside his arms. "O-of c-course," her voice was shaking as she lifted her arms and hugged him back.

He broke off and she felt totally shattered. If only she could hold him tight and never let him go forever, she would do anything. "I'm sorry."

She lightly shook her head because she couldn't say a thing.

"I should have done this before."

She didn't what he was referring to. She wanted to ask him but too much emotions drowned her.

"I should have turned down Ayako's offer ages ago."

"What?" she finally had said.

"I don't want to leave. I definitely would not want to leave without you."

She was speechless as he continued, "How would I live each day without you by my side? I think I'd rather die. I can't leave Japan… How would I if my life is here… if my dreams are here… if the one who makes my day is here… if the one I love is here?"

She was overwhelmed as she unmindfully wrapped her arms around his neck.

"How?" he whispered as he hugged her again.

"I d-don't k-know…" her voice trailed off.

He chuckled. "Neither do I. all I know is that I love you," he said softly, full off tenderness before he broke off.

To her surprise, he dipped his face to hers and kissed her.

"Shhh." He dabbed her tears once again. "Don't cry. I'm sorry. This won't happen again. I would never leave you, okay?"

"I love you, too," she said not noting what he said. She was overwhelmed knowing that Shiki, the one loved ever since felt the same way for her.

He chuckled "I know. I love you." he kissed her again then put his arm on her shoulder. "Let's go, my birthday girl, everyone prepared a party for you."

"They did?"

"Yes, so let's hurry," he smiled.

They were walking out the lobby when she noticed that everyone in that place was looking at them. Gees! She completely forgot about them! They had had unexpected audience.

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i'm very busy for college... just drop by to my profile if you wanna know about my plans.. new stories & whatsiever

make my day complete, post your comment!

,;-ShiMa fevah!-;,


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